By Williams
Ehhizuwa Orukpe & Bridget oghale Omoruyi
Department of History and International Studies, University of Benin
Abstract
This
paper examines the social impact of Christianity and Western culture on the
traditional Esan conception and practice of marriage and family life. In pre-colonial
Esan, marriage was held as sacred and the foundation of the society. Hence,
marriage, though polygamous was regulated; and the family remained
close-knit.
Infidelity,
adultery, and divorce were critically frowned at under Esan native law and custom.
Thus, this study interrogates the dynamism and attitudinal response of Nigerian
peoples to Christian perception and Western perspective of marriage and family
life, since their contact with the West. Its finding is that since the arrival
of Christian missionaries and the spread of Western civilization to Nigeria,
marriage and family life have never been the same. “What was” is no longer
obtainable, since the emergence of Christianity; and “what is” is now becoming
obsolete due to the influence of Western civilization. Therefore, adopting the
comparative research methodology, the study seeks to historicize the changes,
continuity, and adaptation to marriage and family life in Esanland within the
context of their twenty-first-century challenges. It concludes that Western
liberalism has not only eclipsed both Esan native law and Christianity in
Nigeria, but it has produced social contradictions evident in the high-level
insubordination of wives, domestic violence, marital infidelity, separation and
divorce. It is against this backdrop that this study maintains that the
adoption of Bible principles as the authoritative framework guiding marriage
and family life can help stem the destructive impact of Westernization in
Esanland and elsewhere.
Keywords:
·
Esanland,
·
Marriage,
·
Family Life,
·
Christianity,
·
Western Civilization.
Introduction
The
historicity of marriage and family as the oldest human institutions, and
bedrock of society is without a doubt. They constitute the basic unit of human
existence. From earliest times, it is the voluntary union of a man and woman to
become husband and wife that produced the basic societal grouping of people
related by marriage, blood, and even adoption. Thus, began the history of
family life. Accordingly, children, at reaching maturity had overtime
instinctively and naturally left their parents to build their own families, the
practice which had promoted the entrenchment and consolidation of marriage and
family as critical institutions of society and pertinent instruments of
nation-building. Hence, the emergence of family life arguably laid the
foundation for the emergence of nations, kingdoms, and states in any form in
human history.
To
this end, it is safe to contend that the political organization of human
society and its stability from the earliest times was to a large extent,
dependent on the stability of marriage and family life. It logically follows,
therefore that the historical origin of states is traceable to man’s need for a
complement and helper. This need, according to Christian thought, resulted in
the first recorded marriage in human history in the Garden of Eden. From this
early beginning, marriage and family have overtime evolved gradually and
piecemeal to their current pivotal position in national life everywhere.
Because it is the growth, expansion, and spread of families that accounted for
the emergence of communities, nations, and states over time and space, the
continued existence of any civilization is thus dependent on whether the family
life is strong or weak.
However,
today, marriage and family, the foundations of society and platforms for
providing informal education and nation-building in postcolonial Nigeria and
elsewhere, are under attack. According to a family historian, Stephanie Coontz,
marriage and family have been displaced from their pivotal position in personal
and social life. This development is due to the dynamic nature of culture.
Therefore, in Esanland and elsewhere, the traditional conception and practice of
marriage and family life have drastically changed since the introduction of
Christianity and Western civilization (norms, values, and ideologies) currently
spreading like wild fire. These have overshadowed pre-colonial Esan cultural
values, and Western culture has exposed marriage and family life in Esan to new
threats.
Consequently,
since the twentieth century, the new threats to the institution of marriage in
Esan are arguably materialism, radical feminism, Western liberalism, and social
deviance. These vices are evident in the preponderance of trafficking in the
girl child and married women for sex trade abroad in the region. These
contradictions in Esan have contributed significantly to the insubordination of
wives and a drastic shift in the balance of power in the family as more women
are now emerging as the breadwinners of their families. The attendant effects
of this development are domestic violence (from the man, who tries to reject
playing second fiddle by forcefully enforcing his headship; and from the woman,
who flaunts her economic power to the relegation of her husband), marital
infidelity, juvenile delinquency, and divorce.
More
so, the adoption and general acceptance of secular thoughts such as “Do what
you want to, and let others look out for themselves”; “Let Children choose
their own course”; “Make no judgments of what is Right or Wrong”; and wrongly understood and applied Western concepts
such as gender equality and women empowerment among rural women in Esan are
currently steering marriage and family life towards the brinks of collapse in
Esanland. Therefore, it is against this backdrop that this paper attempts a
comparative historiographical survey of “what was,” “what is,” and “what is not”
in the aspect of marriage and family life in Esan, Edo State, Nigeria.
The
paper contends that, in the light of the avalanche of contemporary problems
facing marriage and family life, the complete entrenchment of Christian
perspectives on marriage and family life as contained in the Holy Bible the
authoritative framework guiding these vital social institutions, is imperative
and pertinent for circumventing the complete breakdown of Nigerian society, and
for curbing the deadly menace of Western liberalism in the country.
Biblical Origin of Marriage and Family Life
The
biblical origin of humanity is closely tied with the origination of marriage
and family life. In that, Christian historiography asserts that the creation of
the first man was in time followed with the need for a woman companion, and
subsequently family life emerged. Hence, according to Christianity, the
evolution of marriage and family life can be traced to the Almighty God,
Jehovah: The Creator of man. The Apostle Paul, attesting to this fact,
observed: “For this reason, I bend my knees to the Father, to whom every family
in heaven and on earth owes its name.” Jehovah is the Originator of marriage
and family life, when in a bid to satisfy the need of the first man (Adam) for
a helper and complement, He created the first woman (Eve) using the rib bone of
the man. The New Word Translation of the Holy Scriptures captures this
development thus:
“Then Jehovah God said: it is not good for the man to continue alone. I
am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him. Now Jehovah God had
been forming from the ground every wild animal of the field and every flying
creature of the heavens, and he began bringing them to the man to see what he
would call each one; and whatever the man would call each living creatures that
became its name. So, the man named all the domestic animals and the flying
creatures of the heavens and every wild animal of the field, but for man, there
was no helper as a complement of him. So, Jehovah God caused the man to fall
into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then
closed up the flesh over its place. And Jehovah, God built the rib that he had
taken from the man into a woman, and he brought her to the man.”
Therefore,
the first marriage was contracted by God Himself between man and woman; and not
between man and man (Adam and Steve) nor woman and woman (Ada and Eve), with
the rib of Adam serving as the bride price that was paid to seal the union. It
is from this first family that other families emerged in the course of time in
accordance with their divine mandate to reproduce and populate the
earth.
Hence,
from its very beginning, the family was positioned to be the basic unit and
cornerstone of societies across the globe. In Hebrew, the term for family is
“Mish-pa-chah.” It refers to a household, a tribe, people, or nation. While the
Greek word for family “Pa-tria” is also broad in its scope. These views support
the contention that it was the growth, expansion, and spread of families that
gave rise to communities, nations and states.
However,
since the institutionalization of marriage and families in human society, they
have experienced several changes in form, structure, and challenges as well. In
ancient Hebrew society, the family was not only the basic unit, it was also a
small government headed by the father, who was responsible to God, and the
mother was a subordinate manager over the children in the household. Further
depicting the nature of the family in ancient Jewish society, Insight on the Scriptures observes
that:
The
family in patriarchal times may be compared in some respects to the modern
corporation. There were some things owned by family members as personal. But,
for the most part, the property was held in common, with the father managing
its disposal. A wrong committed by a member of the family was considered as a
wrong against the family itself, especially its head. It brought reproach on
him, and he was responsible, as the judge of the household to take the
necessary action on the matter.
Thus,
it can be safely contended based on the foregoing that the family unit had not
always been in crisis. Its time past, it was a safe haven for children, and
wives recognized their place in the family arrangement.
Obviously
therefore, the stability and growth in the family arrangement during this
period were as a result of the Divine Laws God gave to the Hebrews to regulate
their everyday affairs, including marriage and family life. Under the Law
Covenant, extra martial affairs and rebellion were sufficiently checked, and
outlawed. A child’s rebellion against his parents was as one rebelling against
the governmental arrangement established by God as well as against God Himself.
However,
although monogamy was the original standard of marriage, God instituted for the
family, mankind soon deviated and started practicing polygamy against the
original principle and precedent laid down by God in Eden. But this was
tolerated by God in the meantime until the due time to restore his original
standard for marriage: that is, when the Christian congregation would be
formed. But in the interim, through the Law Covenant, God regulated polygamy in
order to keep the family unit intact and operative.
Today,
in these critical times hard to deal with, marriage and family are under
increased attack. The family structure is plagued with many challenges problems
and has collapsed in many situations. Families in Esan, Edo State, Nigeria are
not immune to these challenges, and therefore need to be equipped with the
right information to enable them to comprehend, tackle and overcome the modern
challenges of marriage and family life.
Marriage and Family Life in Esanland in Historical Perspective
From
earliest times, marriage and family life in Esanland were central to the
evolution and survival of Esan, and other Nigerian societies; hence, several
laws were put in place to regulate them. Although with slight variation in
terms of traditional requirements for marriage and procedure, marriage and
family life were essentially the same across pre-colonial Nigerian societies in
terms of nature and practice. In fact, they were the vital institutions that
aided state building in the country during the period. But according to M.A
Makinde, while it is hard to know adequately how marriages in pre-colonial Nigeria
were conducted before the coming of Islam and Christianity, marriage was
however the outcome of love, common aptitude and association. Consequently,
marriages in pre-colonial Nigeria were basically conducted according to
inherent local customs and traditions across Nigerian societies.
Hence, Makinde observed
that: Three influences come to play in the
traditional marriage. The first is the influence of the parent, the second is
the direct arrangement between a man and a woman, and the third is the
recommendation of friends and relatives. Before this modern time, parents
arranged marriages for their children. This was very common among women.
After the successful tying of the nuptial knot and
parental blessings obtained in accord with local customs and traditions, family
life begins in pre-colonial Nigeria. However, before anything like engagement
can begin in the first place, the grandparents of the intending couple carried
out an investigation. They tried to find out more about the parents of the man
and woman, respectively. They strived to find out if either family had a track
record of any chronic disease (such as insanity), or the reputation and
character of either family and their members respectively. More so, there were
customary visits to native doctors (seers) to ascertain or obtain a divine forecast
of the compatibility, success, productivity or otherwise of the intended
marriage.
In
pre-colonial Nigeria, traditional marriage was a community affair. This was
because people usually resided and grew up in the community where they were
born, where almost everybody knew everybody in the communal estate. Makinde
puts it this way, Marriages before today were neighbourhood affairs. People
stayed in their locality much more than they do today. As a result, marriages
were contracted among the local people. Today, matters have changed a great
deal due to travel and education.
However,
in pre-colonial Esanland, marriage was basically contracted through betrothal
(Ebee), the dowry system, and by inheritance. But C.G. Okojie in his work, Esan
Native Laws and Customs, notes that marriage through the payment of bride price
was very rare in Esan during the period. In that, it was only wealthy families
that could wait for their daughters to grow to maturity before marrying them
out. Thus, for fathers, who could exercise the patience needed, this system of
marriage was very lucrative; but costly to suitors as families usually demanded
more bride price for a full-grown woman.
Although
also practised in Esanland, marriage by inheritance was also not too popular,
because the inheritance of a woman after the death of her husband was usually
determined by her beauty and age.
The
son or brothers of the deceased man usually preferred to inherit the young and
beautiful women left behind; and then customarily asked the uncooperating woman
to return the bride price paid on her and leave for her parent’s house.
Consequently,
marriage by betrothal becomes the most predominant form of marriage in
Esanland. Hence, according to Esan native law and custom, Okojie observes that:
A man could beg for the hand of a girl from conception to the age of five.
Seeing a pregnant woman, the man would send her a log of firewood (for night
heating, since the mud houses with thatched roofs were very cold) and say may
the departed spirit deliver you safely. But if the child should be a girl, I
beg for her hand in marriage. Should the pregnant woman have a baby girl, the
man renews his request with more presents like logs of wood, yams, etc…
Thus,
in Esan communities like Ebelle, Okojie observes that parental consent to this
request is customarily given when the baby is three to four months old, on the
day of the hair-washing ceremony (Ihoetoa). On this day, the mother’s hair is
ceremonially washed with Ekasa, yellow native soap; and the child allowed to
put on her first adornment. He maintains that: “The man invited to help pound
the foufou (native food) for the ceremony is the one accepted to marry the
girl; and could afterward come and ask for the girl’s hand in marriage
formally.”
Once
the marriage has been contracted, under Esan native law and custom during the
period, there is no legal basis for annulment; and the woman is expected to
live in her husband’s house until her death. More so, to demonstrate the
sacredness of marriage in Esan, it was considered adulterous to touch the cloth
of a married woman.
In
fact, it was even considered a declaration of war against a man’s family and
his entire community for anyone to marry a woman, who runs away from her
husband’s house to her parents‟.
It is
noteworthy that, during this period, the polygamous marriage was to a large
extent, the generally accepted standard of marriage; and family life, the
extended family. Polygamy was in pre-colonial Nigeria dominant and popular
because the society laid excessive emphasis on children, most especially on the
number of male children a family had.
This
is usually the basis upon which a family is accorded dignity, respect, and
recognition. Put differently, having a large family during the period enhanced
a man’s social status. Therefore, demonstrating the centrality of polygamy in
pre-colonial Esan, Okojie reveals that Every Esan wife knows she is one of a
series, and therefore had to make her position secure by doing all that would
give her full claim as the first wife. She who plants the Ihianloto, Ukhinmin
Tree (Neubodia Leavis) in the space between her house (at the back) and the
husband’s, in front, owns the compound and is the First wife.
Accordingly,
Makinde that: “In Yoruba land, the family comprises a father, mother(s), sons
and daughters of the marriage or marriages…and there are step-father and
step-mother. Mother(s) were or are called by the names of their children”.
Resultantly,
in pre-colonial Nigeria, families were usually large and very expensive to
maintain. This generally informed the decision of parents first of all to
investigate the suitor’s means of livelihood and capacity to take care of
marriage responsibilities before contracting the traditional marriage.
Hassan
Adeeb and Bonnetta Adeeb further buttress the point: Only responsible Nigerian
men can have more than one wife. They must be able to support their wives and
children; they must ask for the permission of their first wife to marry again.
If a man does not properly care for his wife, her relatives will take her back,
causing him great embarrassment.
However,
in the Niger Delta communities, Janet Oromafuru Eruvbetere maintained that:
“Urhobo traditional marriage is unique… is perceived as an enduring sacred
institution. It looms large enough to tie two independent families together
forever. When blessed with offspring, especially male children, the nuptial
knot is wedded with a cord that neither death nor divorce is able to unlock or
separate.”
Eruvbetere
further disclosed that Urhobo traditional marriage is a polygamous institution,
which allows the husband to marry as many wives as he can afford.
Married
women had few rights and were generally regarded as the property of their
husbands in precolonial Southern Nigeria; but since the late twentieth century,
major social changes in Western countries have significantly impacted on this
development. At this juncture, it should be emphasized that in pre-colonial
Esan, and elsewhere in Nigeria, people were not totally given a free rein in
the area of marriage and family life. So, marriage and family life were
strictly regulated by extant customary laws across Nigerian communities, which
continue to evolve to meet the changing need of marriage and family life.
Consequently, these institutions were not anarchic and inimical to societal
growth and development in the pre-colonial period. This is the demonstrable
reality in precolonial Uromi land, where according to A.P. Ojiefoh,
Although their customary laws are not written down in books, the rules,
traditions and customs were known to everybody in the remotest hamlet of the
Chiefdom. It would be wrong, therefore to say that customary law is very
flexible. It is only flexible because society changes every day. Ethnic laws or
customary laws seem to bend to meet the demand. In fact, this social response
of customary law to the society is what makes customary law flexible.
Further,
he observed that critical aspects of the Uromi customary law on which marriage
and family life in Uromi land were based and structured emanated from the
decree made by the Oba of Benin or the Onojie (regional head of Uromi). Thus,
they are mostly Benin laws and customs, which Oba Ewuare ordered all the
Onojies who attended the conference of 1457 to uphold in their domain through
the swearing of an oath, the Royal Ekete “The Benin Throne.”
They include:
1. Do
not marry your daughter or your step-daughter.
2. Do
not marry your sisters or your brother’s wife.
3. Do
not sleep with your mother or father’s wife.
In
the event of anyone contravening these laws, if confession does not take place,
the accused would die, unless the gods are appeased. In Yoruba land, there was
the “Magun” inflicted on a woman by her husband to control marital infidelity;
and “Aleku” in Tiv land for the same purpose. Thus, it was the case that
customary laws and traditions gave stability to marriage and family life across
Nigerian societies before the arrival of Christianity, and colonial rule.
Evidently therefore, in the history of Nigeria’s socio-cultural development
over the years, what was, that is the nature and practice of marriage and
family life in pre-colonial Nigeria is no longer the same. Thus, the
introduction of Christianity into Nigeria has sufficiently eclipsed and curbed
the preponderance of polygamy in Esanland and beyond in Nigeria. This has also
occasioned the emergence of Christian principles as the authoritative framework
guiding the conduct of marriage and family life over local customs and
traditions in Esan, and elsewhere in Nigeria’, where the religion holds
sway.
The
colonization and consequent spread of Western values, ideologies and
civilization in Nigeria like mushroom in the wild, since 1960, has entrenched
new perspectives as the apparent authoritative framework guiding marriage and
family life, especially in Esanland. They have overshadowed, eclipsed and
supplanted, as it were, Christian thoughts as the grand norm in the region,
and, without doubt, responsible for the crises rocking marriage and family life
in Nigeria and elsewhere. For example, in Oriental societies, Western-style
individualism is directly responsible for the weakening of the hitherto strong
traditional extended family-ties. Thus, many now view caring for their aged
family members as a burden rather than as a duty or privilege. In Spain, within
twenty-five (25) years, divorce rate rose from 1 out of 100 marriages, to 1 out
of 8 marriages by the beginning of the final decade of the 20th century.32 More
so, by the 1990s, 35% of all household in Germany were made up of a single
person; and 31% made up of just two individuals.33 Therefore, emphasizing the
need for marriage and family life to be salvaged with immediate alacrity,
Theodore Effiong argues:
The deterioration of the 21st century socially, morally, culturally,
spiritually, and economically is the result of the deterioration of the family.
What was declared shocking in the 20th century is now acceptable and norm in
this century. If dignity is to be restored to this generation, then it must
begin in the institution of marriage.
While Chinyere Madueke puts it this way, Africans from the
pre-colonial era have their peculiar culture, which is evidenced in their ways
of life. Their value systems as elements of their culture are depicted in
marriage relationships, communal living, religious practices, and legal system
and so on. However, the eventual contact with the Western culture through
colonialism, and with the subsequent upsurge of globalization, these values are
not only being challenged but also eroded.
Emergence of Christianity and Western Civilization in Nigeria
Across
societies and cultures from pre-literate times to our day, man in his search
for purpose and fulfilment in life developed a yearning to search for, his
Creator and worship Him. Hence, Stephen Jay Gould, Paul MacGarr, and Steven
Peter Russell, in their study, Challenges to Neo-Darwinism and their Meaning
for a Revised view of Human Consciousness, argue that, religion developed out of
evolutionary changes, which favoured larger brains as a means of cementing
coherence among savannah hunters, and enhancing reflection on the inevitability
of personal mortality.
Further,
Robin Dunbar, in his work The Social Brain: Mind, Language, and Society in
Evolutionary Perspective, comments that the critical change in the neo-cortex
of the human brain that took place about 500,000 years ago is what is
responsible for complex social phenomena such as language and religion.
Some
other scholars have developed the God gene hypothesis to explain the origin of
religion; they contend that religion is genetically hardwired into human
consciousness through the VMAT2 gene, which is predisposed to spirituality.
Therefore, it is safe to argue that it is the spiritual consciousness of man
that fostered the emergence of a diversity of organized religions
globally.
Hence,
since the fall of man and the subsequent disconnection of direct relations
between man and God in Eden, mankind has ever since sought different paths to
reconnect with his Maker and find fulfilment. This has given rise to a
multiplicity of religions ranging from Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism,
Buddhism, Taoism, Shintoism, and African traditional religion, among others in the
course of time. It is against this backdrop that this paper would now examine
the rise and spread of Christianity as an organized religion, with emphasis on
its historical origin in Nigeria.
Organized
Christianity, the predominant religion of the world, is the pillar of most
democratic and federal societies across the globe, and a critical factor that
has shaped world history and civilization, since the medieval era did not
emerge overnight. While historical development of Christianity is traceable to
Jesus Christ, it should be noted that during his life and times on earth, he
did not directly set out to establish a new religion. To this end, regarding
his role on earth, the Holy Scriptures observed that:
The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth
to a virgin promised in marriage to a man named Joseph of the House of David,
and the name of the virgin was Mary… The angel said to her: “Do not be afraid,
Mary, for you have found favour with God…, you will become pregnant and give
birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus…, and he will rule as King over
the house of Jacob forever, and there will be no end to his Kingdom.
However,
from the foregoing, it could be safely argued that the preponderance of
different religions and the attendant dichotomy, confusion and distortions they
have created globally have further distanced mankind from their Creator instead
of bridging the gap created in Eden. Consequently, in a bid to redeem humanity
from the deadly impact of the Adamic sin and bridge the gap between heaven and
earth, God sent Jesus to the earth. Over time, what is therefore beyond
contention is the fact that, when on earth, Jesus Christ had twelve disciples,
who by divine providence in Antioch were called Christians, and were charged by
their leader to propagate the gospel as missionaries. It is against this
backdrop that Christianity got to Europe through the apostle Paul; and
subsequently, its foundation was successfully laid in Nigeria through European
colonialism.
According
to Alan Ryder, Vasco da Gama, on reaching Calicut declared that he had come in
search of Christians and spices. A claim which is baseless in that before the
arrival of the Portuguese to West Africa, none of the societies had had any
direct contact with a Christian state. Although the Muslim traders and
travellers who predated their arrival might have transmitted some knowledge of
Christianity to the peoples of Northern Nigeria, none of them professed the
religion. The arrival of the Portuguese opened the way for Christian missionary
activities and Christianity in Nigeria. According to T.G.O. Gbadamosi and J.F.
Ade Ajayi, after some abortive attempts, following the introduction of
Christianity in Benin Kingdom by the Portuguese, the first batch of Christian
missionaries landed at Badagry, on their way to Abeokuta… Missionaries came to
Badagry in the wake of the liberated slaves returning home to Nigeria.
Although
the first missionaries tried to make Badagry their base, they soon found it
unsatisfactory because the loss of the region’s former bustling slave trade had
left the town impoverished. Thus, the people were in no mood to receive
Christianity, and they offered the missionaries little cooperation. Hence, the
missionaries looked further afield and entered into negotiations with the
authorities at Abeokuta. The missionaries were admitted in 1846, and they in
time began to conceive Abeokuta as their main gateway into Yoruba land and
regions beyond the veritable “Sunrise within the Tropics.” It is from this
early beginning that Christianity snowballed into becoming the dominant
religion of Esanland, and Nigeria generally. The new Christian teachings of the
Missionaries led to a socio-cultural and attitudinal revolution in Nigeria,
evident in the abandonment of hitherto dominant cultural and traditional
beliefs and practices for the Christian way and Western
civilization.
Thus,
according to Kevin Shillington’s “History
of Africa,” Christian missionaries served as agents of
imperialism. Shillington observed that mission stations were largely hitherto
confined to coastal regions because of the inadequacy of Christian missionaries
to convert the local tropical Africans. Hence, European missionaries, because
of their lack of success, turned to European government for assistance. They
appealed for European government intervention to help them change African
society and make it more amenable to missionary enterprise. This request
eventually paved the way for the official colonization of Nigeria, entrenchment
and consolidation of Western culture in Esan, and integration of Nigeria into
the global village as a sovereign state in 1960.
The
incorporation of Nigeria into the global system opened the way for massive
penetration of Western ideologies, values and ways of life into the country:
and these negate true Christianity and African traditions. These newly
entrenched foreign values are today shaking Nigeria to her very foundation:
marriage and family life. Therefore, there must be a prompt historical
engagement of the problem to enable the Nigerian state navigates her way out of
the marriage and family crises currently plaguing the nation. To this end, the
paper will now interrogate the challenges and threats to marriage and family
life in Nigeria today, and point the way out of the conundrum.
Challenges/Impacts of Westernization on Marriage and Family Life
Since
the incorporation of Nigeria into the global village in 1960 as a sovereign
state, marriage and family life in the country as elsewhere are now facing many
challenges, which had gotten to a crisis point. This development is due to the
unbridled influx of Western philosophies, values and ways of life into the
nation. It is in this circumstance that the new threats pillaging the basic unit
and foundation of Nigerian society would be interrogated here, in the interest
of society. This is because a nation that ignores any threat to its family unit
does so at the risk of its own peril. Therefore, a pivotal lesson from world
history is that the continued existence of a civilization is tied to the
stability of the family unit. According to Will Durant, in his work The Story of Civilization part II,
the essential cause of the Roman conquest of Greece was the disintegration of
Greek civilization from within. Further, he maintained that the strength of
ancient Rome was the family, but when the family unit broke down because of
sexual immorality, the Roman Empire went into decline.
It is
against this background that this paper will now examine modern threats and
their impacts on marriage and family life in this twenty-first century Nigeria.
However, it must be noted that, while some of these problems are not entirely
Western, as in some cases, they are as old as marriage and family life
themselves. It is nonetheless true that Nigeria’s contact with the West had
fuelled their preponderance, complexities, and devastating effects in Esanland.
On the other hand, others are entirely Western, and new phenomena in Nigeria:
such as radical feminism. These threats generally include: selfish attitude,
spirit of independence and competition, marital infidelity, indiscipline,
domestic violence, materialism, separation and divorce intrinsic in Western
culture.
Radical Feminism
The
history of humanity from earliest times is coloured with blood. The history of
human and state relations since the start of human existence and organized
societies across the globe is the history of warfare, fierce class struggle for
physical and ideological dominance, and egalitarianism. Hence, overtime in the
historical development of human societies, human relations and international
relations, contestations among people and states had assumed different forms
and terrifying dimensions. Consequently, there had been a gradual but progressive
shift in the nature of warfare in time and space: with marriage and family
life, as the basic unit of society, suffering the heaviest casualty in terms of
loss of live, family breakdown and dislocation. According to James Lee
Ray,
During the First World War alone, France lost 10 percent of its active
male population… France mobilized 8,410,000 men to fight the Germans; of that
number 1,355,800 were killed, 4,260,000 were wounded, and 536,000 were taken
prisoners.
Human
struggle and warfare had gravitated from the traditional and crude use of
Cavalry men to the modern use of Naval power, Aerial power, Nuclear power, and
Ideology (propaganda), as was the case during and after the First and Second
World Wars. However, in the twentieth century, there is the rise of the radical
dimension of feminism, which seeks a radical reordering of society to eliminate
male supremacy in all social and economic contexts. This radical feminism,
which seeks to abolish patriarchy in order to liberate women from an unjust
society by challenging existing social norms and institutions,48 has produced a
silent war, which could be termed as Gender Warfare. This, as J.C. Johari puts
it, “Seeks to correct (challenge) the male dominance of our knowledge and affairs
of the world.”
Gender
Warfare in this context refers to the increased antagonism between the
masculine and feminine sexes. It is also captured in the emergent movement for
the emancipation of the Feminist gender from the perceived male domination and
oppression (Radical Feminism) which has created a serious ideological and
psychological tension between the masculine and feminine gender. Resultantly,
there is observably an alarming and disturbing polarization of families in
Esan; and wanton undermining of the constituted authority of the head of the
family in the region and elsewhere in Nigeria. Although radical feminism is
Western in origin, today, its wind is sweeping through all corners of the world
like a cancerous virus without a cure and creating problems for marriage and
family life in societies where it has gained ground.
Thus,
it has promoted increased women insubordination to their husbands in Esan, and
even the complete usurpation of headship in some families in Nigeria. The most
vulnerable families are the ones severely hit by poverty and economic
misfortune, where as a result of the poor economic and financial status of the
husbands, the wives have become the bread winner of the family. More so,
outside the family, it is the spirit behind the increased agitation of women
for gender equality and access to male dominated positions and professions in
Nigeria which can appropriately be described as a Gender Renaissance or Gender
Coup. This development is a direct rebellion against the divine directive for
the man to dominate the woman. The apostle Paul writes: “But I want you to know
that the head of every Man is the Christ; in turn, the head of a Woman is the
Man; in turn, the head of Christ is God.” Therefore, he urged: “Let wives be in
subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his
wife just as Christ is head of the congregation…”
However,
contrary to divine directives, radical feminists are quick to rebuff male
dominance and management of the home and society’s affairs. They arguably
contend that: “Whatever a Man can do, a Woman can do better.” Thus, begins
their struggle for emancipation, gender parity, and the empowerment of women: a
gender never in chain nor deprived, but sufficiently empowered by God with the
capability to influence their husbands and contribute to nation and state
building efforts as helper and complement of the man. Hence, according to Segun
Oladipupo.
Many Lagos women, especially those of the working class have chosen
career over marriage; while many have regarded themselves as equals to their
husbands. There can never be two captains on a ship. The moment a woman fails
to know her limitation in the home, the ship is bound to fail, and this is one
of the major factors responsible for increase divorce rate in Lagos.
However,
it is an incontrovertible fact of history that from early times, women have
played active and significant roles in the political, economic, and
socio-cultural development of diverse societies, which feminist historians are
quick to point out. In Nigerian history, these women include: Queen Amina of
Zaria, Queen Idia of Benin and the brave women of Aba, who defied the colonial
machinery of state and protested against the draconian tax colonial economic
policy of Britain in 1929, and suffered the consequences. However, in
post-colonial Nigeria, the progressive abandonment of the traditional roles of
women in the society as home and peace makers, trainers of children and nation
and state builders by ensuring the stability and unity in marriage and family
life puts society at risk of collapse.
More
so, their refusal to be the helpers, but rivals of their husbands deny society
the fundamental relevance of women to its stability, growth and development. In
that, women, through their wilful obedience, submission and the comfort they
provide their husbands, thrive in politics, business, and statecraft. It also
denies society the pivotal place of women in the preservation and transmission
of societal norms and values through oral traditions (folktales and songs),
which they teach their children at home. Hence, women are the vital neck
without which the head cannot function.
Selfish Attitudes
The
prevalence of the “Me-first” attitude in our day is another potent challenge to
marriage and family life. But this attack on marriage and family life is not
new; it dates back to the beginning of human history, when the first human
family crashed by giving in to their selfish cravings, and thus “sin entered
into the world”.54 Overtime, selfishness has emerged as a corrosive element
weakening the foundation of marriage and family. Therefore, it is the case that
impatient individuals, who seek quick results and instant gratification, give
little or no thought to the consequences of divorce. Lured by seductive
promises of freedom and independence, they selfishly believe that divorce will
lead to happiness.55
Spirit of Independence and Competition
Today,
wives and women are in direct competition with their husbands and men generally
by striving to be independent of men and achieve gender parity. They vigorously
strive to prove that they are not inferior to the men, and have ventured into
all fields of human endeavours, even ones unsuitable for women as mothers like
time-consuming and exhausting jobs. Therefore, Cynthia Lee-McGill notes that
there is a rise in women education, employment and income level in sub-Saharan
Africa, which has prompted speculations that divorce rate would go up, as it
has in much of the developed world. Hence, Juliana Francis observes: “In
Nigeria today, an alarming number of women are steadily becoming the
breadwinners in their family. When a woman pays most of the bill, she begins to
wonder: what is she doing in such a relationship with a man…” The resultant disconnects
this has produced in the family partly explains why husbands have gone the
extra-mile to exercise their authority and dominance over their wives through
the occasional use of force at home to assert their headship. Hence, since both
genders are now locked in this bitter competition over place and relevance in
society, it could be rightly argued that it has now progressively escalated
into an all-out gender warfare (both psychological and physical: domestic
violence), with marriage and family life bearing the brunt.
Marital Infidelity
The
high level of moral decadence in Esan, and elsewhere in Nigeria today is
evident in the “sex oriented” life style of many. Sex is no longer restricted
to the confines of marriage, giving rise to increased cases of cheating and
marital infidelity. According to C. Jorgen, out of the approximately 800
Nigerian women returned home from Italy from 1999-2001, 86 percent of them are
from Edo state. Thus, Onimhawo and Ehiemua decried that,
As bad as the involvement of young girls, unmarried women, and divorcees
in prostitution abroad is, the indulgence of married women in sex trafficking,
which is thought of as unthinkable or not achievable is worst. Married women
participation in sex trade abroad implies a collapse in morality and breakdown
of the religious system of the people.
Therefore,
the marriage bed that is supposed to be without defilement has been over
defiled. Extra-marital affairs are all too common today, as evident in the preponderance
of “Sugar Daddies” and “Sugar Mummies” in our society. The marriage vow is
being treated with levity, and the sanctity of marriage and family violated all
in the name of catching fun; or as it is commonly said: “It is your life, so
live it the way you want”. And this is the most dangerous threat to marriage and the primary
cause of family breakdown globally.
Indiscipline
The
scripture urges: “Train a boy in the way he should go; even when he grows old,
he will not depart from it.” But the responsibility of training and
disciplining children is one area of family life where parents have failed
woefully. Parents hardly spend time with their children at home; they are for
most part of the day away in the office or attending to their business. In
Nigeria, according to the National Bureau of Statistics, people in full-time
employment are expected to spend at least 40 hours at work each week 61 and
this does not include working on Saturdays, Sundays, extra-time, and public
holidays; of which working on these extra days has fast become a habit among
Nigerian workers in order to make more money.
Consequently,
Nigerian parents leave the training and disciplining of their children to their
mostly underage and incompetent housemaids. In cases where they are around,
rather than discipline their children when they do wrong, parents rationalize
and justify the wrong of their children. They usually say: “leave him alone, he
is just a boy who does not know what he is doing.” The over-pampering of children
and failure of parents to discipline their children like Eli of old is what has
given rise to teenage rebellion at home, juvenile delinquency, drug trafficking
and abuse among teenagers, cultism and gangsterism in our society today.
Domestic Violence
Domestic
violence is another major problem affecting the basic unit of society.
Contemporary civilization faces the threats of collapse because in some
families, instead of being the loving husband, the man has become a beast. He
turns his wife into his punching bag at the slightest provocation. Aside from
physical violence, this also includes the crime of rape. Hence, it is the case
that most families today are not safe havens to raise children and for nation
building to begin, but a gladiatorial theatre of conflict of some sort. This
development has torn many families apart and is discouraging some unmarried
persons from getting married and raising a family.
Materialism
Materialism
can simply be described as the love of wealth and riches, and an unalloyed
devotion to them. In Western world, materialism is a way of life in which
material things such as trendy clothes, mobile phones, computers, cars and
other electronic gadgets, and money are prioritized more than anything else,
even marriage and family life. In our day, with the incorporation of Nigeria
into the global village and the attendant spread of Western civilization,
values and attitudes into the country, materialism has consequently made
in-roads into Nigeria and has ever since become a snare for married people and
resultantly a major bane of marriage and family life in the nation. The
illusion of satisfaction, happiness and security material possessions bring is glamourized,
glorified, and exaggerated by the advertising media.
As a
result, there is a mad-rush for the acquisition of latest technological
gadgets. To this end, parents, in an effort to provide the good life for their
family, invest most of their time chasing money. Thus, in the ever-busy
materialist world of today, couples hardly have the time to sit at home and
communicate with one another. The drift this causes in time makes them
perpetual strangers to one another and lead them to find comfort and sexual
satisfaction outside the marriage bond. Parents also strive to replace lost
time with their children with gifts of all sorts, and extravagant shopping
spree. The joy this brings is ephemeral. Therefore, materialism has only helped
to weaken the foundation of marriage and family life in Nigeria and elsewhere.
Separation and Divorce
The
challenges of marriage and family life examined in this paper, when they are
not properly handled, usually result in separation and divorce. Separation is a
situation where the couple decides to live apart for a while because of their
intractable differences, while divorce is the official and legal termination of
the marriage contract. These two challenges of marriage and family life have
reached an alarming proportion today. In the USA,
Almost 50 percent of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. 41
percent of all first marriages end in divorce; while 60 percent of second
marriages end in divorce. 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.
While
according to Shola Adekola et al,
Badagry… is a classic example of the epidemic ravaging marriages.
Between January and September 2016, it recorded 30,000 broken and failed
marriages officially known… Even though statistics about this unwholesome
development is hard to come by, indications suggest that more people may have
sought dissolution of their union in 2016 than they did in 2010.
Hence,
today, the sacredness once attached to the institution of marriage is gradually
fading away; and the relaxing of laws that regulate divorce by the government
in Europe and America has removed the stigma once attached to it. More so, some
modern marriage experts have proved more adept at promoting divorce than at
defending marriage. It has been observed that psychologists, psychiatrists and
even clergy men give advice on marriage and family which, instead of helping to
solidify these institutions, tends to destroy them. Many of such advisers
condone or even recommend sexual immorality as a means to relieve frustration.
It is against this backdrop that there is a surge in divorce rate globally.
Thus, it had been noted that,
In the United States… the number of divorced couples quadrupled between
1970 and 1996… The total number of divorces in England and Wales reached 153,
490 in 2004. Australians can expect about 40 percent of their marriage to end
in divorce. The Republic of Korea saw an increase of 21, 800 divorces in just
one year-from 2002 to 2003- a total of 167,100 couples divorced. And in Japan,
1 in every 4 marriages ends in divorce …
The
global increase in divorce rate is fast turning it into a normal way of life.
It has even been described as the “Retired Husband Syndrome” (RHS). However, in
Esanland, there is a new twist to this development. According to C.
Idahosa,
Married women, who intend to participate in the sex trade abroad,
collaborate with their husband, and both reach an understanding that, the wife
will travel abroad to engage in prostitution to help raise money for the
family. Then a temporary arrangement for divorce is made; and the woman returns
the bride price paid on her head to her husband’s family, in order for her
husband and children to be free from the negative repercussion of her adultery.
It is
against this backdrop that this paper contends that there is now pertinent need
for practical measures, and reliable religious framework to be adopted to
guide, and help address the problems of marriage and family life in Esanland
and elsewhere, in order to salvage the foundations of society from total
collapse.
Conclusion
In
this twenty-first century, marriage and family life in Esanland and elsewhere
in Nigeria are under attack. And this has put Nigerian societies and Nigeria as
a whole at risk of impending collapse. Since 1900, the rise and spread of
cankerous Western perspectives and culture like cancer has eclipsed the
traditional Nigerian conception and practice of marriage and family life. While
Christianity revamped “what was” – i.e. the traditional pre-colonial conception and
practice of marriage and family life, Western civilization on the other hand
has, since the colonial era, overshadowed ‘what is’ i.e. the Christian conception and practice of
marriage and family life in Esan, and elsewhere in Nigeria.
Consequently,
Christian principles are largely no longer the authoritative framework and
bedrock of marriage and family life in Esanland. This has thrown the
institutions of marriage and family into crisis, slowed down nation building,
and pushed Nigeria’s sovereignty and civilization to the brink. Therefore, the
paper argued that the full recourse to Christian perspectives on marriage and
family life as the authoritative framework guiding the conduct of the two
institutions in Esan and elsewhere would help reposition marriages and
strengthen families. Thus, it is the panacea and needed brick that will salvage
the foundation of Nigeria from total damnation.
In
the final analysis therefore, while African societies cannot completely divorce
themselves from Western influence, they should however thread the streets of
the global village cautiously. While they should freely give to their Western
neighbours in the spirit of international brotherhood and cooperation, they
however need to be constantly wary of the “Trojan horse” they receive from their neighbours in terms of
ideology, cultural values and civilization. Also, these are inherently laden
with socio-cultural landmines capable of destabilizing African societies and
endangering their local customs and traditions as is currently the case in
Esanland.
The author of this article are lecturers at Department
of History and International Studies, University of Benin, Edo State Nigeria. If you
wish to contact them, please do so on the email below.
Williams
Ehhizuwa Orukpe
Bridget
oghale Omoruyi
Editor -In-Chief
